Hey friends, colleagues, teachers, mamas, executives, sisters, aunties, and the list goes on…..
It’s ok not to be ok…..
At this point in my life, I am not ok….
When did I realize something was amiss? To be totally honest, I cannot put my finger on an exact time. I can only tell you that from past experience, when I start saying, “I’m exhausted”, “I’m tired,” or “This is a lot,” that’s my cue for myself and those around me that KP is running on fumes. But life keeps happening and if you’re “Type A- keep it moving” chick like me, that’s what you do: press through, pray and keep going. But then something “weird” happened: I lost my desire to walk and work in my flower beds. And I had no desire to even sit outside. All I wanted to do was sleep. Praying became harder to do. Those events have indeed been my red flags I am not ok.
As these events have been unfolding in my life, the therapist and believer in me have been observant and checking off the boxes:
✅ increased sleep
✅ anhedonia (no longer enjoying activities usually pleasurable)
✅ decreased appetite (sometimes)
✅ diminished spiritual connection…..
Wait a minute….. am I depressed? That was an actual conversation I had in my mind. Had I been experiencing depression all this time but just pressed it down until I couldn’t anymore?
This week, I have been able to pray, really pray. I have read my Word, gave some stuff to God, talked about my feelings more with those I trust, and I’m starting to feel better.
Last night, for the first time in a while, I sat outside while P was grilling. This morning, I am enjoying a cup of coffee on the patio while Kane looks fake pitiful because I won’t play with him😂. This feels like progress…..
Ladies, society tells us it’s not ok, but it IS ok to:
❤️ Say “I’m not ok;
❤️ Take time to figure out what’s going on, even if that means seeking professional help (no shame💚);
❤️ DO THE WORK to regain/create a “You” that is happy, healthy and free;
❤️ Create/Lean on your village as this process unfolds;
❤️ Pray and trust God to teach you, keep you and restore you;
❤️ STILL BE DOPE WHILE WORKING ON YOU
Peace and Blessings,